Tell them now
Say it now.
Whatever it is. That you love them. That you are proud of them. That the thing they did in 2019 changed how you think about something. That you notice how hard they are trying.
Say it while they are standing in front of you.
Why we all save it
Because it is a little embarrassing!!
There is no smooth way to tell somebody they matter to you. It lands weird in the middle of a normal conversation. They might not know what to do with their face. You might not either.
So we file it. We think, I will say that at some better moment. A birthday. A holiday. When it comes up naturally.
And it mostly just… does not come up naturally. That is not a moral failing, it is how weeks work. Weeks are extremely good at absorbing the things you meant to say.
The math nobody wants to do
You do not get told which conversation is the last one.
There is no signal. Nothing about it feels different at the time. It is a Tuesday, and somebody says something about the weather or the truck, and you both go do the next thing.
That is the entire argument. There is not a cleverer one underneath it.
It does not have to be a speech
This is where people get stuck, we think. They imagine it has to be some enormous moment, so they never start.
It does not.
“Hey, I’m really glad you’re my friend.” Check.
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much that helped.” Check.
“Love you.” Before you hang up. Every time, until it stops feeling like a thing you are doing on purpose.
Thirty seconds. Slightly awkward. Done.
And it is not only for them
Here is the part we did not expect.
The relief is mostly yours.
Because the alternative to saying it is carrying it. Every unsaid thing sits somewhere, and you do not really notice the weight until you finally put one down.
Nobody has ever said, out loud, with a straight face, that they wish they had told the people they loved a little less. Not once, in the history of people.
So go text somebody. Right now, before you finish scrolling.
It will take you less time than reading this did. 🖤
